aegipan-omnicorn:

facebook-reality:

tvheadfalls:

tvheadfalls:

what i wanna know is how captcha technology went from having to type in a barely readable code, to just. clicking a button. how does this tell you im not a robot. can robots Not press the big funky button

I know this is a shitpost but just in case you don’t know, it actually tracks the way the cursor moves. Bots can click it instantly and moving in a perfectly straight line, people take a few milliseconds to react and move the mouse imperfectly. If the computer’s still not sure whether you’re a human or not, it makes you do the 3×3 photo grid thing I never seem to get right

Humans best feature: our wiggles.

ifeellikesmeg:

eversolewd:

yumantimatter:

mistbornthefinal:

speakertoyesterday:

identicaltomyself:

yieldsfalsehoodwhenquined:

another-normal-anomaly:

regexkind:

argumate:

invertedporcupine:

koito-yuu:

yumantimatter:

jaiwithinnumerableunblinkingeyes:

tommyeatseaton:

sufficientlylargen:

Every time I see a post about updog I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help the poster complete their joke.

okay but what’s updog ?

Updog is a long sausage in a bun often served with ketchup, mustard, onion e, and/or relish.

No, that’s a hotdog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released

You’re thinking of update. Updog is when you end a sentence with a rising intonation.

No, that’s uptalk.  You’re thinking of the fourth-largest city in Sweden.

surely that’s Uppsala, whereas Updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs

You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

no that’s an updraft

updog isn’t a noun at all, it’s a verb; it basically means to chew someone out, or harshly lecture them

No, that’s upbraid. An updog is a small dog that likes cuddling on people’s laps.

No that’s a puppydog. An updog is when the Mets win.

No that’s an upset. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

What’s a henway?

Oh, about 5 pounds.

GOTTEM

maneyer:

uoa:

do you guys realize we can change our lives any time we want like you can just go ahead and delete your blog, stop eating meat, shave your head, start running, tell that person you hate why you hate them so much, confess your love to someone and kiss them unexpectedly like why don’t we do that

the last one is sexual harassment

vikingofficial:

storytruths:

yarking:

seriousjones:

the sexual tension between two gas stations on the same intersection

I’m so sick of this shit. Two gastations can’t even be on the same block without some walnut shipping them, while I can’t find a single fic for dennys/applebees with dennys bottoming.

you’re literally out of your mind if you think Dennys isnt a top

I wish the 2012 apocalypse actually happened

lumsel:

drendari:

Not sure what we are playing but next turn I am all in.

this joke cost twelve thousand dollars

crystaldraco:

cartoon-dog:

postmodernmulticoloredcloak:

animentality:

transhumanisticpanspermia:

atbuttches:

yungterra:

question: how do i make my photograph more tumblr relatable?

Simple:

• filter
• lowercase helvetica

• for extra points: add japanese text

I’m taking notes 

wrong you do this

this site drifts further and further away from comprehensible humor every day

tuesdaey:

canofstars:

tuesdaey:

I think that the points are as follows;

1. Live each day with courage

2. Take pride in your work

3. Always finish what you start

4. Do what has to be done

5. Be tough, but fair

6. When you make a promise, keep it

7. Ride for the brand

8. Talk less and say more

9. Remember that some things aren’t for sale

10. Know where to draw the line

You are correct and well versed in your Cowboy Ethics, partner

ierohero:

ierohero:

nothing makes me more nervous than my bus taking a different route then it normally does like???? where are u taking me

me: I’m the king of public transportation, a ghoul haunting the streets that run like veins through this city-

the bus: turns left where it normally goes straight

me: I am naked and alone in this universe and no one is watching over me