so tonight im working super late at an adults-only event at the zoo where it’s basically endless beer and wine tasting and then wandering around the zoo at night. Keepers mainly sit around then we just take turns going up for a circuit through our areas and let me tell you as the night has gone on things have gotten more entertaining. So far I have seen:
-A group of drunk girls legit crying in front of the puffin exhibit because they’re Too Cute
-A dude pointed at a vacant eyed, open mouthed, coldwater fish and, completely deadpan, turned to his friend and went “it’s you”
-overheard a very serious debate on whether or not sea turtles sleep (”Ted you fucking moron everything fuckin sleeps jesus christ”
-A girl stroking her hand back and forth on the glass in front of a chillin Amazon cichlid (idk what part ok freshwater exhibits aint my thing) cooing “It’s just so pretty I want to be it’s friend”
-A man enthusiastically singing a ballad in front of the aquarium with some grand drunk improv like one standout line was “What we doin at the zoOOOoooOOooo? We drinkin a breeEWWWwwwwwwwww!”
-a very harried voice on the radio sighing “we need more captain morgan and vodka at concessions”
-five calls for medics
-three calls for broken glass
-A girl standing on her own in the middle of the shark reef tunnel, staring straight up with an open mouth and arms limp at her sides, oblivious to all the people around her
– “Ahaha. holy shit look at all of it’s legs” said in front of the octopus exhibit
-overheard a loud furious “DID YOU JUST FUCKING AS ME IF THE PENGUINS ARE FAKE?!”
-This exchange on the radio “Hi concessions to event management? What do we do with the used napkins?” Long pause, then a disgusted “You throw them away. Because they’re garbage.”
(honestly prayer circle for concessions)
– “holy shit it’s nemo what up dude” (I hear a million variations of “i found nemo!” but this is my favorite so far ok)
There may be version 2.0 of this post as I plan on not working Brew at the Zoo this year, but actually ATTENDING
as someone who legitimately spent obscene amounts of my time and energy fighting off TERFs in this website and dunking on them and finding new and creative ways to make them look like shit I’m gonna tell you the truth that it’s fucking uiseless: it doesn’t matter how thoroughly you humiliate these people, how much you make them come off as complete fucking losers (which many of them are), because every single thing you do against them is something they can frame into the grand victim narrative their ideology is based on. the best way you can fight off terfs (and this is something cis people should be doing) is serial deplatforming, blocklists, and going and ensuring that you block any terfs who show up in your notes. if you need to attack the ideology, attack their beliefs without giving them notes, and do this actually in a comprehensive manner that isn’t just “lol terfs are dumb” and please specially refrain from reblogging their giant anti-trans posts with just some kind of one liner own against them: you’re just giving them exposure and helping them spread their beliefs around.
any post you can make that’s like “haha reblog this to piss off a terf!” is worthless in the face of what actually and truly pisses them off the most: discovering that they’re doing absolutely nothing but screaming into the void because thousands of people have blocked them with no engagement. these people have taken the same stance towards getting mass blocked as twitter alt-righters do (ITS A VIOLATION OF MY FREE SPEECH!) and this is for a reason.
this is the purest video you will see all day, it includes not only practical advice on how to make cats feel comfortable but also:
the most patient and long suffering clawdia
bob ross, but a vet
squish the cat
squish the cat, but with a towel
absolute unit mr. pirate
a little chubby but quite beautiful
please watch this immediately
Squish! That! Cat!
I considered myself to be well versed on cats/communicating with cats. I’ve lived with at least two cats my whole life, and currently live with two very different cats who I love. Apparently most cats are shoulder cats? My cat Mason has always been very nervous about going up on people’s shoulders, so I thought I’d try the “shoulder cat” technique.
I had to help him up on my shoulders because he’s never done it himself before. But once I got him up there I squished him, he started purring like nobody’s business. I carried him around our entire apartment, up and down staircases, and he was so happy. He didn’t try to leave once! When I put him down he head butted me and meowed and was super affectionate. And of course I gave him a treat.
TLDR- Even if you live with cats and think you understand cats, please watch this video.
This is honest to god one of the best videos I’ve ever seen
So, fun fact for all of you history dorks, but you know that legend about Cleopatra being so rich and trashy that she would drink her wine with crushed up pearls in it?
Pearls are mostly Calcium Carbonate. When they mix with acids (such as those in wine) they produce carbon dioxide like little balls of fancy alkaseltzer.
What Im saying is, call Cleopatra a trashy hoe all you want, but she was the trashy hoe who invented instant champagne. Bitch was living in 3018 while everyone else was in 18
Hauntedlattesbackup 