the great paradox of matt groening’s shows always being uncomfortably horny while also having the most unfuckable characters and least sexy art style of all time
maybe I’m just a filthy millennial whose sex symbols are all lean fish men and muscular desert elf women but I honest to god don’t understand how you can look at any character drawn in the Groening style and feel even a hint of arousal
“Snake, it would appear that I’ve slipped on a puddle of water and fallen down. ‘Falling down’ is when you lose your balance and gravity pulls you downward in a humiliating and often painful fashion. Your mission is to rescue me using Fulton Extraction. I’m on the medical platform, next to the room where you like to pretend Paz is. Huey’s eating chicken tenders and throwing crumbs at me. I’ll be waiting for you there.”
“It’s not true, Snake! I would NEVER waste food by throwing at at Ocelot! I’ve never even eaten a chicken tender in my entire life! And I DEFINITELY wasn’t the one that spilled the water Ocelot slipped on! He’s trying to trick you, turn you against me! I was here when Mother Base was first created, and where was he? Need I remind you of the fact that he tried to kill you in Russia! I’ve only ever tried to help you! I’m not like you, Snake. I don’t betray my friends! I don’t throw tendie crumbs and I don’t make people slip! Why won’t anybody believe me?!”
venom snake gets off the helicopter, silently charges at the 4 diamond dogs soldiers saluting him and knocks them all over then goes to take a shower fully clothed and carrying a rocket launcher but gets ambushed his demon not-son trying to sever his achilles tendon with a bowie knife again
Hauntedlattesbackup 